“Royale with Cheese” as Shakespeare might have written it
Posted by KMFNJ | Filed under Journal
As some of you may already know - "Royal with Cheese" is a famous scene from the movie Pulp Fiction by Quentin Tarrantino. This discussion was found by my friend Eric, which is a (very well) written adaptation of the scen... but with a Shakespeare twist. Enjoy! JULES: 'Sooth! I shall travel to fair Europa, it's soil to tread! Upon my very soul, I shall! VINCENT: It's soil upon thy very sole, indeed! Thou would savor it most among all mortal men! ...But of all that Continent's fair wonders, doest thou know what causeth me greatest laughter? JULES: Nay, gentle Vincent. What sights upon the Continent doest drive thee to incontinence? VINCENT: 'Tis not the mightiest, but the merest things. Much there verily abides, the very same as in our homeliest hearth -- yet within the smallest crannies, the greatest differences be. JULES: What might be one of these great small wonders? Prithee tell! VINCENT: In fair Amsterdam, good coz, thou might purchase the fairest ale -- not in a public house, but in the very theatre! Nor 'tis a mere thimble-cup, but a goodly flagon! JULES: Speak thou truly? VINCENT: 'Strooth! The wonders endeth not there. In gay Parree, thou might purchase ale at the rudest MacDonald's meat-house! JULES: Zounds, at such a meat-house would'st I fain meet! VINCENT: Doest thou know how the Parisians call a Quarter-Pounder With Cheese? JULES: What trick is this? Doest they call it not a Quarter-Pounder With Cheese? VINCENT: Nay, simple knave! With their foreign measures, they wouldst not know a Quarter-Pounder from a Carronade! JULES: So thou sayest. What call it they in Parree then? VINCENT: They grant it a kingly title indeed -- a Royale Crowned With Cheese! JULES: A Royale Crowned With Cheese! What call they a Big Mac, then? VINCENT: That article be the very same, yet with a different article be: Le Big Mac! JULES: (clapping his hands with delight) What call they a Whopper, then, good Vincent? VINCENT: I know not, for I entered not the Burgherhouse of the King... But doest thou know what, down in the Netherlands, they put upon their pommes-frittes in homely cat-sup's stead? JULES: I am confounded. Prithee. VINCENT: Mayonnaise. JULES: Zounds! VINCENT: With mine own eyes I have seen it! Nor do I speak of a mere side-dollop, coz -- they fair drown their victuals in vasty waves of that vile condiment! JULES: I am undone!
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